I’ve tossed around the idea of starting a blog for a couple of years now, ever since those scary few weeks before (and after) receiving a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis.
I kept a handwritten journal for a short time and, after stumbling across it recently, I’m relieved that it was for my eyes only and not published all over the internarf. As time went by and I adjusted to my new life, I assumed that no one would read anything I wrote. Of course that doesn’t really matter, but my hope was that others might benefit (to whatever extent, great or small) from this in some way if I put it all out there in such a public and permanent form.
Sometimes I wonder if I talk about my MS too much on social media outlets and if my friends and acquaintances, unconsciously or not, glaze over my short, sometimes humorous, sometimes morose posts about my experiences and think of me as one of those people who lean on their illness/disease/disability as a crutch. I don’t want to be those people. That’s why, aside from family and a very select group of friends, I kept it quiet for so long.
Disease makes people uncomfortable. That’s become increasingly obvious over the last few months as I’ve been told by more than a few friends that they want to ask about my MS, but don’t know if they can or should or how to do it. Instead, they take to the internet and, I can tell you from experience, the internet can be a scary, scary place if you’re looking for medical information without some guidance.
Disease makes me uncomfortable, too. I don’t know how to talk about it. I make stupid jokes and brush it off as no big deal.
But I’m learning that people want me to talk about it. And that’s what everyone with an “invisible disease” wants, right?
So. My dear, beautiful friends…thank you. Now stop looking up what a “relapse” is on Google. I’ll just tell you what it is. This blog is for you.